Flaming Non-Sequiturs

When good memories go bad

Jul 9, 2009
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I read something recently that dredged up an old hurt---broke open an old wound, so to speak. I dated a very callous, arrogant, cavalier guy in college---for years, don't ask me why. Oh, he cheated on me and what have you, but one of the worst things he did---in a line of horrible, evil things, because that's how he rolled---was something in addition to a spiteful action an ex-roommate actually began.

The ex-roommate--Leslie--was a tall, thin, attractive sort, and quite cunning. She could be loads of fun, but there was definitely something in her that was detached and indifferent to the feelings of others. I saw it time and again--both she and the ex--Dave---had that quality. Anyway, she was angry and disappointed at not having been accepted into the limited program we both applied to, and she needed to exact some sort of revenge, I guess. (Now I wouldn't have even attempted applying to the program, but she wanted companionship in going through the hardship, so I did it for shits and giggles. How did I know I'd get accepted?) So that revenge was thinly veiled by the excuse of being bored with her life, having money saved up from working at Wells Fargo, and could she go with me to where I worked the summers (the Rockies). Having worked at the same job a few years, I had a routine established, which included my accomodations. I didn't have the flexibility to invite guests to stay with me. I denied her request.

I later found out she'd solicited the same from Dave, who also work summers there, and he not only agreed, he drove a very long way to persuade her to spend the summer with him (probably as his concubine, but I don't think she had that in mind originally). I think about this now and feel embarrassed for him, but at the time I was incensed.

But let's skip the details, this is getting long. What I object to is this: Not only did he take her out there, to a place I considered "ours", but he took her to all the intimate places where we'd had adventures and made what I believed to be special memories. He basically trampled all the sacred places and activities by repeating them with her. He took pictures. He flaunted them to me. Why I even gave him the opportunity to inform me is beyond me, but I found out and it was painful.

I don't own the place, and they have the right to do whatever they want. But I think they both reveled in knowing how much that tortured me, or maybe they didn't even think about it. Either way, there must be a special place in hell for people like that.

So I can't think of those wonderful memories because they're forever tainted by those creeps. Yeah, I was a moron for even caring about it...

Facebook

Jun 17, 2009
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Conan O'Brien did a little skit recently (In the year 3000?) where YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook merge to become a mega social networking site called "YouTwitFace". Hysterical, except that's already how I feel about Facebook. YAWN! I opened an account just to see if I could find friends from school, but it seems so silly I can't even stand to go on.

I did manage to find some of them, but do I really want contact? I'm anti-social, aren't I?

Things I lost in the fire

Aug 13, 2008
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Only metaphorical, the fire. Things haunt me from time to time---things I've lost due to irresponsible, selfish boyfriends, abrupt and emotionally charged moves, carelessness and forgetfulness, and the willful downsizing by husbands who want to dictate which of your possessions is worthy of keeping.

1. Black, early '60's boatneck, low-back cocktail dress with rhinestone bow. Last worn to the symphony in Jackson Hole, WY. Packed in a xerox box full of other meaningful vintage clothes, left in rented house in Driggs, ID by stupid asshole ex-boyfriend. Lesson: NEVER trust anyone to move your stuff just because you're flying, rather than driving, out.

2. Red bandana multi-tiered vintage skirt. Same as above.

3. Really cool '50's Hermes-style saddle belt. Same as above.

4. Plaid button-down shirt with hand-stitching, vintage. Gift from brother. Same as above.

5. Platinum wedding band with 11 diamonds. I've gained so much weight (from meds) that it no longer fit. I took it off, placed it in my jewelry cabinet, or hid it in some clothing that I eventually gave to charity, or it fell in the trash when I accidentally pulled open my jewelry drawer too hard and I didn't fish it out, or it's hidden somewhere and is yet to be found...

6. Ceramic french butter dish, early California pottery. Thrown away by husband during move from Carlsbad, CA.

I'm sure there's more, and I'll think of them eventually. Is it weird to be so obsessed with objects as to actually think of missing them years later?

QotD: Looking Back...

Jul 23, 2008
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What part of your childhood do you miss the most?
Spending summers with my grandmother in the mountain provinces. It was cool there, with pine trees, dahlias, a stream running behind the house, endless books to read and wonders to discover, and waking up in the always amazing featherbed to a delicious, milky coffee made from homegrown and roasted beans!
Sigh.